Like A Supermodel’s Vagina*

Globes

I. Love. Award season. I gobble up award shows like Jordan Belfort does Quaaludes. (Have you all seen “The Wolf of Wall Street” yet? Excellent film.) I’m not sure what sparked the interest, but it’s been an addiction for the past ten years or so. When each new season rolls around, I giddily strategize my DVR for best red carpet viewing and commercial fast-forwarding. The only red carpet coverage I’ll watch is E! and their 25 cameras, even though Giuliana Rancic annoys the you-know-what out of me. As corny as he is, I still like Ryan Seacrest. Kelly Osbourne is tolerable and I think Ross Matthews is hilarious. When I watch them, I want to be them. It’s always been one of my dreams to report from a red carpet. I’m obsessed with stars, not because they’re famous but because of how they became famous. It fascinates me how some come from backgrounds like trailer parks and drug addiction and somehow wind up on the A-list. Plus, I can’t cry on command and I’m intensely intrigued by anyone who can. Character quirk. Anyway, to interview a celebrity is very high on my bucket list.

Technically, award season is ongoing, but the good stuff doesn’t roll around until after the new year. It usually kicks off with some lighter fare—the People’s Choice Awards, for example, which aired Jan. 8—but things start to heat up with the Golden Globes, quickly followed by the Grammys, then the Oscars. It’s an exciting couple months for an entertainment geek like myself.

Hosts

This year’s Globes didn’t disappoint: Hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were delightfully amusing and proved why they were asked to take the lead for the second year in a row. The crowd inside the Beverly Hilton was, as per usual, decked out in luxurious designer gowns and suits (see my fashion critique in our print edition, out Jan. 16) and ready for a good time—or just ready to get it over with.

The Hollywood Foreign Press chose an elite bunch (see the complete list of winners in our print edition, out Jan. 16 or on our Facebook page) to take home the prize. Jennifer Lawrence, my personal favorite, was predictably candid and hilarious when she went up to claim hers for her role in “American Hustle.” Amy Adams won for the same film and graciously thanked her agent who “had a feeling” about her and for that, she owes her career.

Hustle (1)

I personally felt Monica Potter deserved to win for her performance as cancer-stricken mother of three in the tragically underrated NBC drama “Parenthood,” but she lost to Robin Wright. And dear Jack Dawson made his way on stage to accept his Globe for The Wolf of Wall Street, class act as usual, and thanked his fifth-time director, Martin Scorsese for his vision—and for the impressive ability to cram 506 F-bombs into a three-hour film, I might add.

Hands down my favorite part of the night was when darling Emma Thompson stumbled on stage with her shoes and martini in hand to present the award for Best Screenplay. Realizing she didn’t have a hand for the envelope, she chucked her shoes over her shoulder, handed the drink off to Miss Golden Globe, and announced Spike Jonze (for “Her.”) I’m still upset that she didn’t win for her performance as P.L. Travers, the author of Mary Poppins, in “Saving Mr. Banks.” She was amazing.

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Some argue that the Globes are a good indication for who/what will win at the Academy Awards, but that theory has been contradicted many times. Time to head to the movies to construct your own ballot and see if it matches the Academy’s—the nominations are being announced Thursday, Jan. 16!

Were there any actors you felt were personally snubbed? Did you have your fingers crossed for a film that didn’t win? Share your thoughts on the Globes in the comment section!

* “And now, like a supermodel’s vagina,
let’s all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.” – Tina Fey

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